Still Remembering you.................................

Memories.......the word itself acts like an intoxicant whenever we spell it.Memories can be sweet or bitter but the real taste lies in the hands of the thinker.The way he likes to think about a particular incident it makes it either sweet or bitter......People say as time passes sorrow filled memories wash away and it just remains as a dream for us in some corner of our heart but for me it has always remained as hot boiling air whose temperature is just going on increasing.........

I don't know why it happened?Why you chose me to suffer from the incurable heart breaking disease? Atleast tell me now,how i can heal it? how i can heal the pains and wounds that you have inflicted upon me?
Till now i can never think that loving you was a crime....Till now i cant even think that we arent together anymore.Whenever i hear your name a creeping sensation engulfs me.My heart starts beating loudly,even my surroundings seem more pleasant that time.I still love you and i honestly accept that.Though the heart breaking reality-"MY BREAKUP" always starts an alarm in my mind which warns me to stop thinking about you.But why is that i can't stop thinking about it?Whenever i think of you an aura of serenity surrounds me.I feel a certain kind of exotic relief just like a man who is lost in the desert on a hot sunny day on seeing an oasis.

How those times were when we were together? how we spend our times when we were together?I always thought our hearts beat together.I always thought we felt each other's feelings without verbally conveying it.I still remember my smile and those many laughs that i had when i was with you i seriously can't be more happy than those days in my course of life.Whenever we spoke a certain kind of spark lighted my eyes that filled me with the desire of  spending every moment with you.Even in my extreme frustration your voice's sensation was enough to cool my mind just like rains subdues the temperature of earth burning with the scorching heat of the sun.Some words expressed our feelings for each other and some was just expressed with your eyes.But one thing is for sure that whenever we talked we felt each other's desire without specifically mentioning it. I used to feel that I Am THE LUCKIEST PERSON  on earth when i was with you.I used to bask in the warmth of your care and attention.I felt completely secure whenever i thought you are near me.You were everything for me. The moments when i used to share every bit of my stories with you were the best moments of my life.You were my everything my life,my happiness,my desire,my breath and most essentially my biggest support of my life.

But why ? why you made my world crumble to pieces?Is that what people say that the reality of relationship is experienced when you face break up? I thought we could defy people with our sweet relationship continuing for lifetime.I never knew this would happen.I never knew this mere word could be such a dangerous explosive that it blew away everything.....every peace,every happiness of my life and most importantly my beautifully,tenderly built house of love carved out of care ,affection,understanding,promises,desire,hope,support,feelings....The sweet green meadows of my life were changed into rocky,hot desert in just few seconds when you spelt the word breakup.
I want to scream out loud...no its not happening ...its not real...How my most precious jewel  of my life be stolen away from me?How can my life whose every string was attached to you break so suddenly?How can our hearts that beat together separate?How ca our feelings that crowned us be ripped off so soon?All so suddenly...How????????????
But that's what reality is....I know this reality is deliberately pricking thorn in my heart.....I am feeling am burned alive...The vacuum created by your absence is draining every bit of my hope and desire of a happy life ahead.I don't know how long can i endure this pain.I feel like i have become a dream now..Like dreams have no existence I don't myself have any....I am living my life as a shadow that just for the sake of being there is there but in reality i am not existing .I cant feel anything....cant feel even that am alive.....You were that atmosphere that was with me every time that made me alive...but now i am just lost,lost in this world without knowing where m heading .Please come back.....M still yearning for you,,,,,,I still love you...still love you.....

FIRST 6 MONTHS OF MY COLLEGE LIFE.....ACCEPTING LIFE AS IT COMES

When people speak about college life,they mostly refer to the events that happened in four years of their college life which specifically excludes the

first 6 months of the starting of that life............

Yeah....as most of my batchmates refer and maybe some of you reading it may recall it as "the intolerable and boring phase of college life"....with rules hanging like swords over you and ragging rumors tormenting your every thought.....I started hating this life from day 1.......the strict time rules, the strict dressing sense (which was a safety measure against ragging as you wouldn't be much noticed), When we were told that bunking and proxy would be heinous crimes as we are just freshers  broke down the little hope of enjoyment that was craving in my heart....Any little breach of discipline which included mass bunking and copying in exams would invite serious wrath from authorities as it would label us as hooligans from starting of college life and we will be looked down upon as a vagabond for the rest of my college life...plus the  ragging thing was getting on my nerves...once a senior one spotting me laughing and merry making with my batchmates called me into a group to give an intro in the best possible embarrasing way....

I was wondering what mistake i did in my past life to land upon this situation.......but i thought it would be better if i start accepting things than hating it.......and seriously guys! it worked!!!.....friendship grew more stronger among our fellowmates as the 'no bunking rule' made us see tthe same faces everyday...Little bit of "class masti" as we call it became the best part of the day...passing comments,sitting in last benches,listening songs wid headphones,troubling teachers,banging desks,chattering and gossiping, seeing movies wid laptops..........these simple joys were more entertaining than dancing the whole night in pubs....Giving intro among seniors during ragging wasn't a bad experience...it brought me closer with the seniors and it was real fun standing amongst them and boldly telling them about myself and and agreeing to singing amongst the whole crowd without hesitation wore me off from my shyness....and seriously i enjoyed it alot!!.Ahh.... now i guess why people say college life is a place where you start making real friends  with real fun and this was only possible because of the atmosphere we were suddenly put into........i would love to enjoy the forthcoming four years of my college life with my friends......

my small yet powerful lesson of my life

"What horrible marks? will i ever be able to get iit????"

This was the common statement that i used to recite every now and then.........

It was a perfect day after my board results proclaming that i gt an overwhleming 96.4% that i decided to elope to KOTA ,the hub of coaching classes....Being attracted
by the craze for iit, i also dreamt to be one of them not knowing what difficulties would follow.....

Being out of my parent's safe cocoon after class 10th, i had never realised how much i would miss them there.Not only i had to stay miles away from them but
even i had to manage my own affairs as well as stand up as a winner in the race. Stepping on the premises of Bansal classes,KOTA,i had never realised
i would see a crowd of mre than 10000 students walking up in pace with me with the dream of being an iitian. From there the grip of competition and the pressure to perform well burdened up.
Just after reaching we were told that we would have to write up a test every month and on the basis of our performance we would be allotted batches. "BAD PERFORMANCE, LOW BATCH & HORRIBLE TEACHERS"< this was
the sub title of the monthly test as told by our seniors studying there. First of all it was confusing for me to undastand that bychance if i don't prform well
then will my future be doomed? The feeling was horrifying !! The coaching began in the subsequent days and the fast paced studies was difficult to catch up at first. On returning back to hostel, starting from listing
things that i needed to buy, then arranging things on my own, to washing my clothes everything seemed a herculean task for me.."mom, where is my physics copy? find it for me!" question remain unanswered
....eventually if i misplaced something at the end of the day it was only me who had to find out. Then at times the coaching would begin early in the mornings and i would go to the mess to find empty utensils. "bhaiya, where is my breakfast?", i would ask the kitchen boy and then
i would get a reply that i would to inform them a day before about my changed timings otherwise i would have an empty stomach to start my day with. That tim i remembered my mom forcing me "Drink a glass of milk, u cant go to school empty stomach"..i would get nostalgic thinking about it.
then i would have to hurry up on my way to coaching to get a small packet of poha from the poha stalls before reaching my coaching class. By the time we returned, i would be in a tranced state not even knowing where i have to return to. Then calling up the known auto wala or bargaing with an unknown 1 became a routine job. After long hours of coaching this was
the last thing i would like to do standing in the sun to bargain with an autorickshaw driver and if it was evening time then it was even more horrible because the rush of students and on top of that the thought
that i would have to reach hostel before 8.30 pm to avoid a clash with the hostel warden would make me agree with the price quoted by the autowalas.Then on reaching hostel throwing my bag i had to rush up for dinner. if not i would have to wait in a long line to get a pair of roti and by the time i get that my hunger would have said a good bye to me.Then before the exams
i would rush to dout-clearing room , run after the teacher to get time , then again run back to them on the prescribed time and stand in a long line to wait for ur turn to get your douts cleared would just eat up all the energy i had in me. Not knowing when the monthly exams came i did sit in the class room ready to fight 5-6000 students for 6 hours. This pressure was really building on me...when the
stupid results knocked my cell after a week with my glorified results alloting me a lower batch. The results always remained a hot topic of discussion among your fellowmates. Even it was a matter of prestige
. Not only teachers or your batchmates wanted to know your results even auto rickshaw drivers
, hostel wardens and every other person wanted to know your batch. A lower batch was looked down with disdain. I got a lower batch and i used to hear great comments from some people that lower batches students are just here in kota to build up its economy and nothing else...this further intensified my fustation and out of it
i took the advice of some of the seniors and joined some other coaching class. The speciality of kota was that you could even get a coaching class for a particular lesson of a prticular subject just you need to have
money. I enrolled for physics paying a hefty amount of rs.25000 ( i had already paid rs.75000 for my previous institute).This worsened my condition further , i was so frustated with the ongoing events i started looking up for escape routes thinking a bit of merry making with friends
would lighten up my burden. As we all know once someone adopts an escape route it can never be limited. Since hanging out with friends
seemed a better way to hide up my fustation i gave in more and more to merry making rather than studying.ATM centres everywhere highlited my interest  to spend more to enjoy more. Thus bad performance after bad performance became a habit
for me and the enthusiasm to perform well stopped.Even i seldom used to attain the schools we had enrolled there for cbse because i used to concentrate on the famous proverb of kota " PERFORM WELL IN IIT AND THAT WOULD HIDE UP YOUR CBSE RESULTS"...This was my another mistake.....

Ahhh........as u know mistakes are always awarded with a regret .... i still regret not being an iitian...........Yet it was a blessing in disguise.....Remembering the past days, i think it taught me alot of things...Earlier being with my parents i dint even know how to manage money leave about bargaining
with autorickshaw drivers !! I learnt being an independent person, i learnt how to cope up with my daily affairs in a new place on my own....I even learnt the biggest thing in my life that freedom and enjoyment always has to be labelled with a specific time .Frustation wouldnt be taken up so seriously that your very enthusiasm
to work up for your aim would vanish.....Escape routes and temptations would always mark the path of frustation but avoiding that would be a wise person's idea because it may give short time pleasure but at the end of the
day your aim your dream would be the only thing that would matter,..I look upon these small yet grave experience of my life to be the guiding light of my future....

A romantic morning................

Hmmmmmm...........judging by the name of the topic you all must be thinking it must be a wonderful date story.....but wait ! wait ! stop wandering your mind over it......itz just about an exotic morning or better known as a lazy morning by youngsters like us.............

After the few drops of shower of rain that resusciated the vapid atmosphere of earth with its enthralling smell the previous night gave way to building up a lucrative morning the next day...........seeing d onset of dawn with the rays of sun engulfing the clouds in an ingenious way highligting the oppulent beauty of nature...........with the cool and soft winds blowing, enthusing our senses to eulogise the bequeathed by our creator  for us.......with the trees swinging away as if they are involved in a light hearted badinage.............seeing  the sun rising up slowly changing the colour of its cheeks from deep red to golden yellow makes it look like a cute bairn..........ahhhh  sitting on balcony lazily and gulping down the beauty of this serene morning with a cup of coffee thats never going to exculpate.........adds to the romance of this romantic morning.......wish i wud again enjoy such a morning again............althoygh it may seem preposterous to many.....but try it sum day.....n m sure then,  u all will collate to appreciate my view.....................

ordinary lyfz extraordinary moments: a dae in colleg.........

ordinary lyfz extraordinary moments: a dae in colleg.........: ahhh/.........sitting idly on sundae n remembering hw d week went by .............it either brings a smile,a drop of tear or a frown ..........

ordinary lyfz extraordinary moments: a dae in colleg.........

ordinary lyfz extraordinary moments: a dae in colleg.........: ahhh/.........sitting idly on sundae n remembering hw d week went by .............it either brings a smile,a drop of tear or a frown ..........

need of the hour....changing society norms

.....d recent hype surrounding anna hazare has drawn attention of media...zillions of people are now questioning why they were jus a marionette in hands of the government being a free citizen of a democratic country?
although i have no qualms against the movement and i unanimously support the movement but if we stop a bit and reflect on our lives .....dont u all realise that we have been taught to be in boundations right from beginning......even questioning our superiors is a heinous crime according to our reverend society people...... be it a child questioning the ideology behind its parents decision......or a teenager questioning the overwhelming attitude of elders towards his so called fun filled life.......or may it be a subordinate questioning about his aggravated workload.....the response is the same.....a rebuke .....or in some cases being looked at  with reproach......

what has to change is d obsolete ideology of our society ...... the advancing retrogression of india isnt just related to the embodiment of corruption.....but its very well related to our day to day life......yes,i know u must be thinking if superiors give us uninterrupted freedom we are likely to misuse it.....but dont u all feel.... being a part of the voluminous constitution of india  we have the birthright to atleast get answers for our questions......freedom isnt always associated with misutilisation......freedom for certain things is essential.....freedom to ask for what we are denied n getting answers for the same should nt be jus lookd at as a way for emancipation but should be gratified with due respect as being an integral part of evry individuals right......

india has been ravaged not only by our barbarian politicians or corruption but its the very nature of society that has brought it up to this level..........being broad minded isnt a status quo dt most people generally refer to in indian society but its rather a way to emasculate the hiccups in the way of our progress and to embark on a process of being called as the emboldened society..........

a dae in colleg.........

ahhh/.........sitting idly on sundae n remembering hw d week went by .............it either brings a smile,a drop of tear or a frown .........following d sme monotonous routine evrydae.....gttng up at 6,going 2 colleg,listening 2 sum intoxicating lectures dt dozes u off 2 sleep z d cmmn way f life of teenagers lyk us......bt sum fun loving ppl lyk me wud agree dt lyf z incumplete widout the spice of drama,widout d spice of variations............sumtyms it feels grt 2 js sit in d 1st benchn access wifi n chat stupidly n social site or 2 keep buzzing ur frnz wd ur idiotic msgs not coz u r missing dem...bt coz u want variations in ur lyf........bunkers wud oviously agree 2 d fct dt universities n college institutions sud get awae wd ds attendance system.......this decision f teachers to banish our laziness becums a predicament fr us............bunking cant alwaez b associated wid fun n fr dt matter evn using cell phones in class or passing comments in classs....i knw dis wud sound irksome 2 our GURUS.......n fr dt matter OUR INSTITUTION HEADS..........bt wt dey dnt realise iz d overburdening pressure dy put on us........we wud nva gt bored in a certain class where our interest lies..........n it hppns wid eva1..........citing d case of interesting prctical works on engineering no 1 wud sae a no to it.....theory clsses sud b backed up by vocationl training n mind it ,it sudnt b compulsory !!!!! u cnt expect a person nt knwing a programing language 2 frcibly lov computer theory classes widout ny prcticl classes on it..........trying 2 b a bit mre student friendly sum institutions adopt theory n dn prctical clsses....n do u knw wts d effect of dis?????? students doz off in theory classes n den wake up suddenly in prctical clssses 2 find dt dy r js stpid dnkeys staring at others n tryng 2 learn frm dem........ppl think an 8 hrs clss wud hlp gain repo for der colleg institutions wat dey dnt try 2 include in der vague reasoning skills z dt students wud luz interest staring at doz dracula teachers who frce dem 2 pay att ntion whlie der minds r wavering sumwhr in disney world n wen it cums 2 grasping knwledge out of it dey wud feel lost like alice in wonderland......
wat matters in dis 21st century is wat youth like n wat dey dnt,,...ofcourse ofcourse m nt ruling out d boundations bt evn m nt supporting vague logics dt ppl apply 2 bulid a potential teenager in our so called institutions............i hope u wud like my opinion.....waitng fr u all 2 express ur opinions....